Angela Dryden

Certified Life Coach

What if your Biggest Weakness was just a Thought?

Positive Thinking

I love a great positive thought as much as the next person, daily affirmations, and aspiring quotes used to be a part of my daily peep talks. Try as I may to rinse and repeat a thought into my reality I would find myself coming up short or it took a long time to manifest. Then I made friends with what was going on in my head and changing that thought into reality became exhilarating and not exhausting. Until the thought is something I can believe will become real it is just a wish a hope or a dream. The thought is not the weakness or the reason why you are not getting what you want. The thought you believe needs to be fixed with another thought just might be the crux.  

One goal, Two Different Thoughts  

Let’s say there is a task that a team needs to complete by a certain deadline. One person thought while doing the task, “once I am finished, I will be on to the next task”, which gives them hope. While another person if they believed the same thought would feel dreed. However, if they believed, “I am going to learn something from this task”, that gives them the clarity to finish the task. Two people working on the same task believing and feeling differently about it completes the task one feeling hope and the other feeling clarity. 

This is where semantics comes into play. Semantics gives words their meaning and the words we say and believe matter to us. What comes to mind when you think of a thought you have believed for a long time? I’m always late. There is never enough time. I don’t know what to do next. This stuff is so complicated. I never have enough money. The phrase that popped into your mind while reading this is the one, I want you to use. Here are the steps.  

The Steps

First Write it down, even when your mind wants to tell you all the reasons that writing it down won’t make a difference, it will. Second, decide what situation this thought is tied to, a friend said, my boss at work, my kids, a loved one. Since it is a thought you say a lot there might be multiple situations. Find the situation that seems to be the source that you believe this thought is the strongest. Third, what emotion does this thought bring up? Discouragement frustration, or exhaustion to name a few, be specific if you can. Then Fourth, what little change can I make, a slight word change that will have me feeling a different emotion? Instead of saying I should be grateful I have a job. You could say I am grateful I have a job, or I am finding ways to be grateful that I have a job. Try on different words and see if they invoke a different feeling.

The Art of Believing

Looking at the steps here is an example of what you might find when doing this process. Let’s take this thought, I never have enough money. Are you able to pay the bills you have? Can you pay for shelter clothing and food, the essentials? What is it that you think you want that you don’t have and you keep telling yourself you don’t have enough? Maybe you can find the truth in saying I have enough and get rid of the never. Or try most of the time I have enough. The goal of this exercise is to take the steps that will get you closer to your desired outcome. You could believe most of the time I have enough, move into I have enough, and later believe I have more money every day.  The goal is to move the needle and not take on a whole new thought but shape the thought you already believe into what you want to believe.

If you can find possibilities in different sides of a viewpoint it will help you see things for what they could become. When you find yourself shutting off and seeing it one-sided that is a sign that you might be shutting down and you can feel stuck. Allowing yourself to see that you can open up to the possibilities is a liberating feeling but it can take times of feeling uncomfortable to get there. Be gentle with yourself and reach out to me if you are ready to make strong connections with the beliefs that you desire.


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