Angela Dryden

Certified Life Coach

Your Self-Value does not change your Self-Worth

worms eye view of forest during day time

Having moments of low self-esteem is a thought I would assume most people have experienced at one time or another in their life. Growing one’s self-esteem usually begins in childhood. As you attempt to perform tasks you have never done before, such as learning your alphabet, your numbers, and how to read, all these attempts in such tasks can help you gain self-esteem in your abilities. Then how do we exchange having low self-esteem in your abilities for having confidence in your self-worth?   

I think the idea of having low self-esteem became associated with our ability to perform a task such as, “I can’t read therefore I am dumb”. Whether you can or cannot read doesn’t make you more worthy as a person; the skills you obtain through trial and error will not increase your worthiness. Being able to read is an ability you gained to increase your personal value, and a person with value is not the same as a person of self-worth.

Low self-esteem is a co-dependent behavior that can wreak havoc on your relationships, the emphasis being that self-esteem is developed through doing and adding value. When we exchange it for self-confidence and learn to see ourselves as being 100% worthy without adding anything, we are choosing to grow from a place of abundance as we are not trying to add what we think is missing. Self- confidence isn’t the acquiring of knowledge, it is the gaining of self-realization.

There are many quotes that might be giving us ladies even more confusion when it comes to worthiness vs value. They are two sides of the same coin. One side of the coin is embracing who you are and being confident in your self-worth. The other side is growing into what you want to become through improvement and adding value. There is no need to argue that one is more important than the other when they are both important from different perspectives. In other words, they are not competing factors but complementary.

One of the best definitions of self-confidence I learned in my certified training to be a Life Coach was that it doesn’t come from anything external; it is being present and experiencing all the emotions with the understanding that you can handle them. This means, you can’t fix yourself by improving a skill, the fact is you don’t need to be fixed, this is you being present with your self-worth.  

blue wooden door

You don’t have to change if you love where you are, but you can love where you are and choose to change. When I am working with a client and they really begin to embrace this concept it’s as if they found the key to unlocking a door they have always had access to.

Embracing the opportunity to experience all emotions one must be willing to put yourself out into the world with all its perceptions. Being able to see all sides and view things from a point of not needing to change yourself but fully accepting you can when you want to change your value knowing you are already 100% worthy.


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