Angela Dryden

Certified Life Coach

5 simple steps to fail so you can grow

When glancing over someone’s credentials you see all their success and accomplishments. Some people have so many that they have to hold back from listing them all, while others have very few or none at all. What is the difference between the two kinds of people? Why do some never stop growing, while others live by the thought of flying under the radar? Is it their upbringing, the opportunities afforded them, social status, or physical and mental restrictions?

Walk into any bookstore or search online and you can find an autobiography or biography of someone that has overcome tremendous obstacles to achieve all they have. Their tales of success by overcoming some sort of adversity inspire us all. I love rooting for the underdog, especially if they have the desire to grow. Don’t you?

So, how do we become the first type of person; the one who has gained success by facing and overcoming their obstacles? First, teach yourself to be open to failing. The old adage, “No one got anywhere without leaving where they are right now” comes to mind. You might think, “But it’s hard”. Yup, it could be, and it could not be. You won’t know unless you try. Second, get it in your head that it will be hard. I love the saying floating around social media these days, “Being unhealthy is hard but so is being healthy, choose your hard.”   This couldn’t be truer when wanting to learn to fail. Okay, you’re thinking, “I get your point but really it is hard.” Yes, I hear you.

man in black pants going down stairs

So, here are a few micro steps on how to fail:

  • Write down something you would be willing to do.
  • Say it to yourself daily
  • Feel the emotion that comes up when you read it.
  • Look for opportunity.
  • Jump in and do it.

1. A wish is only a wish until you write it down. Then it becomes a goal. By writing it down you are telling the universe I am ready to go forward so align all the stars and give me the opportunity. Here is an example.

“I want to smile when I see people and ask them how their day is. Some people might enjoy talking while others will not. For me it doesn’t matter the outcome only the effort I am making. Because I want to grow through this and gain confidence in talking to people in person.”

2. The opportunity might appear right away but the strength behind your power might need a little building up. Repeating this goal to yourself can be key in building your strength and confidence. It will give you the strength needed to endure when you do fail. Being mentally present when you fail becomes a learning moment.

3. While you are reading your goal there will be emotions that come up for you. This is a very good thing. Now is the time for you to practice being aware and contemplate the emotions you are feeling. Where in your body are you feeling it, what color is it, on a scale of 1 to 10 where is it?

4. To tell you the truth, by the time you do the first three on this list the opportunities will be endless. You will be more present at the moment, your affirmation will at the forefront of your mind, plus you will be able to choose when you take that leap into failing or succeeding. When you start looking, you will see more and more opportunities and begin to wonder, “Were they always there, and I just didn’t see them?”

5. This is the challenge and the reward, all in one. You could just look at the first four on the list and decide to avoid five altogether. And actually, by doing one through four, step five will become your desire and the prize you want to claim.

By choosing to do the micro-steps, you will create the desire and strength to try, to step out to fail or succeed so well that you will want to do it again and again. Yes, you can be a perpetual failure like myself, love who you are, the life you have, and the fool you look like. Ready to listen to criticism, views, the difference in opinion, etc. All the while being true to yourself and learning from all the growth!


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