Angela Dryden

Certified Life Coach

Your Lies are hurting you the Most

person holding green apple
girl in white crew neck t-shirt and blue denim shorts

I have told my shares of little lies and I did believe for the longest time that the made-up story, or not sharing the whole truth wouldn’t hurt anyone. I would venture to say that you can recall telling a friend you are busy when the truth was you just didn’t want to go. Maybe even telling your lover you have a headache when in reality you just don’t want to do it tonight. It’s not going to hurt anyone, it’s just a little lie. Right?  The truth is that the little lies we tell others are actually hurting us the most.

Being honest is a behavior for the brave as it means seeing your shortcomings before you excuse yourself. The Co-Dependent behavior of living in Denial can drain your energy and others around you. Just like Obsession and Control, Denial is one that as a Co-Dependent we see in others and struggle seeing it in ourselves.

When Co-Dependents’ practice the behavior of Denial they feel it does not matter if they are honest with people who are not honest with them. It does matter. It matters to you. It matters to you and your credibility to yourself. The behavior of being honest is one that benefits you more than it will benefit others.

Another reason for the behavior of Denial is not wanting to cause hurt feelings. Remember, Coming From Integrity Might Mean Walking Your Own Path; how someone reacts is their responsibility, not yours. In reality, lying to avoid hurting someone’s feelings damages you more. The thing I have learned about telling a lie is that if you were honest with yourself from the beginning you would have probably not needed to lie at the end.

When we begin to open up to others it actually will give us permission to begin to trust ourselves. Trust is built upon all the little things we do daily. So, if we add a truth a day to our honesty bank account and begin to be very clear with our intentions, we can start dialogues and build meaningful relationships that really matter to us based all on honesty.

Through this process you are trusting yourself more, which in return will generate feelings of love and trust. Seeing value in this behavior can attract more relationships and opportunities where you show up as being honest with yourself and others. 

Understanding yourself and your intentions is really key for creating your Leading Lady behavior of Honesty. Be honest with yourself and don’t take on something that is not manageable for you right now. Show up as an energy giver and be open to communicating how you see things when your opinion is requested. When others begin to be honest with you listen with the intent to understand and, again, be open to their input and thoughts even if different from yours.

I know I have said this many times when talking about creating a Leading Lady behavior but being gentle with yourself and having compassion can help you to stop excusing, proving, or justifying your actions. It could be that the words you are saying to others might mean more to you than it will to them.

If you find yourself justifying, proving, and excusing your actions to your loved ones may be gaining the skill of letting go with love could help you find peace among the storms of life. Letting go is a skill I show my clients how to obtain. Click here to schedule your Discovery Coach Call today. Take care of you.


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