Change is going to happen in our lives, try as we might, change is a constant cycle. Two types of change will enter our lives. The first one is the change we want. The change that we are willing to be challenged and come out on the other side of that change obtaining that which we wanted. Examples would be deciding to lose weight because we are tired of our unhealthy selves. Creating a better relationship with screentime, because we see the time it wasted and want to do more with that time. Changing and entering a new career, because the opportunity aligns more with the growth you want in a career. The second kind of change is that change that hits us from the side and we don’t see coming, the change we wish would go away and we do not want. This change can be needing to lose weight, because of a health diagnosis. Being forced to not have any more screen time, because you have not paid your bill and don’t have the money to do so. Being fired or let go from your career, because of cutbacks and you didn’t keep up on all the changes thinking you would slide by.
How you see changes matters
As you can see from the examples a change is relative to your view of the situation. One change feels as though you are losing and the other change as though you are winning. When either change comes your way there is a common thread. Somthing you value is being taken away, the diffrence is you see one as being your choice and the other one as not being your choice.
Let me share with you two universal values that I have found to be true when coaching clients. The first value is routine. We value routine, whether it is a scheduling thing or we live by the rhythm of nature. There is a routine that we find ourselves gravitating towards and if that routine is disrupted? Watch out! That can take us off cours. Another universal value is relationships. It could be a small group or a large group, but a sense of belonging is important to us. When we experience a disruption, we might find ourselves questioning our value and worth as we feel we are outcasted and no longer part of the tribe.
Two Questions worth asking about changes
How could this change be good for me? This question politely allows you, to get out of your need to hold on to what was, and allow yourself to open up to what could be. I have found that my brain likes to go to the this is so unfair, kind of thinking. If I Stop take a breath and open up to the possibilities it will allow me to look at it from a different vantage point. The second question is similar to the first but phrases it a little differently. When we phase things differently it can help us resonate with one question more than another.
What could I learn from this change? With this question, I like to look at it as learning from the thoughts I am having about this change. What do my thoughts tell me about myself that I might not have noticed before? Where might the resistance I am feeling from this change be coming from?
Change will happen even if we minimize it by sticking to the things we know, something in our world is going to shift. The key to change is opening up to yourself in how you are viewing this change and seeing it from multiple angles. As your coach, I can help you do this. I teach you ways to be present during any change and then decide what the next step will be. Reach out and book your discovery call today.