Obsession is not a bad word. Actually, obsession can be a good thing. Let’s discuss an unhealthy aspect of obsession first: as co-dependents, we can easily obsess about someone or something. Any time we are obsessing about someone or something we are using it as a way to keep all eyes off of ourselves. This is a behavior that I described as one that a co-dependent sees in others but does not in themselves.
A co-dependent does not want to have their shortcomings magnified but can be obsessed with magnifying others’. As we dive into co-dependent behaviors, ask yourself, “Am I using the focus of others or something else to ignore my own short-comings?” and “What would I need in order to believe that being exposed to my short-comings will not harm, but help me?”
A hurdle to look for and overcome as you choose to grow from a co-dependent into a leading lady is to embrace yourself and recognize when you divert your attention to other people, places, or things. By becoming aware of how the brain loves to justify and excuse itself out of everything, you’ll learn to self-identify common phrases like “It’s their fault, not mine” your brain may generate when it needs an excuse.
The behavior I like to think is a good replacement for Obsession is Passion. Passion can stimulate emotions of purpose, direction, and clarity on what you value. Growing in passion can be a result of accepting yourself—faults and all—and knowing you are valuable, not because of what you do or any label you hold, but because you are uniquely you. When you reach for passion instead of focusing on obsession you are no longer excusing or justifying anything. You are now strategizing and finding reasons to keep growing.
I see passion being your true self, after coming to an understanding that you display co-dependent behaviors. Nothing is or has gone wrong because you portray co-dependent behaviors. Choosing a habit that became a behavior was most likely manifested based on your fears at the time the habit was created. For example, it could have happened as a child seeing it as a way to survive, or as an adolescent wanting to be accepted by your peers. Whether conscious or unconscious, you might have chosen behaviors that provided the desirable outcome at the time.
I want to offer that the kind of person who is a co-dependent is loving, caring, full of compassion, and an all-around wonderful person. A habit of obsession that has now become behavior does not have to stay.
Living your passion is an inside job and when you are around someone who is living their passion with purpose, you know it. They will encourage you to find yours by asking about you and speak less about themselves, because they are clear on their place and path in this world and they want to see others find their passion, too. Finding your passion is not a competition or a race; you don’t have to hurry up and get there or it’s gone. Passion, in its raw form, is self-discovery over time, searching inside on a daily basis.
As you start moving towards your passion, things will become clearer. Keeping your focus on yourself and your heart’s desire will bless all your loved ones around you. You might experience resistance at first, from loved ones, and even yourself, but as you keep on your path in living your passion, obsession will begin to seem like a distant memory. Are you ready to create passion? Let’s get on a call and do a free coaching consult. As your coach, I will help you find clarity and recognize passion versus obsession.